Last updated: Sunday, October 5, 2008 | 5187 Views
You walk in to the supermarket with a list in your hands. It’s your friends birthday and you need a few things for a barbecue you’re having over at your place. Prime ribs, barbecue sauce, marinade, salad..
You’re making your way down one of the aisles when along comes a beautiful girl - she flashes a smile at you and you quickly look away pretending your not interested. She walks past you and you go about your business buying your croutons and never see her again. You know you had the chance to approach her but you were scared. Scared of approaching such a beautiful women and scared of being rejected.
STOP!
What is it you’re scared of?
Would you be scared of talking to guys in the supermarket - maybe cracking a joke about eating kraft dinner again? Are you scared of hanging out with people in general? Are you scared of opening your mouth and talking? Or is it just women that you’re scared of?
You see, too many men have this belief that women are “special” and they put beautiful women on a pedestal. Because they place beautiful women on this pedestal they feel they aren’t worthy of having them and they feel anxiety when they have to approach or talk to them.
STOP DOING THIS!
Sure women are special but only once you’ve established a connection with them - just like a best friend is “special”. Before they are your best friend though they are just another human being - you don’t know if they are special or not. So stop placing women on a pedestal!
Women are human beings just like you and I. They burp, fart, have hair in unattractive places, sweat and stink just like everyone else. The difference is in how they present themselves. Don’t let women fool you into thinking they are unattainable. In fact the best looking women usually get approached the least which makes your job even easier!
The key to being able to bring women down to your own level is having confidence and skills with women. The only way to get this confidence and these skills is practice - practice does make perfect! Learn the secrets of approaching women and creating feelings of attraction and how to establish connections and you’ll no longer place women on a pedestal. You’ll come to realize that women are just as approachable as the greasy cook at McDonalds who has nothing going for him. It’s all about your perspective and your confidence!
ravi teja
October 6, 2008
Wow..this is one habit I really have to break…every time i see a women i think i put her on a “pedestal”. Im not sure what it is but really good looking women seem like they have so much going for them and I find it damn near impossible to approach them without getting all nervous!
October 7, 2008
John..you will definitely do much better with women if you can treat them like you do your guy friends for instance. This means joking around with them, talking about sex and other “taboo” topics and just having a good time. Once you do this you’ll find yourself coming from a view point of abundance - meaning there’s lots of girls out there, and they aren’t all “special”. You’ll find yourself approaching girls with ease and no longer getting nervous.
Ryan
November 6, 2008
[...] How to Get Over Your Fear of Picking Up and Approaching Women ? [...]
November 18, 2008
I hate to say this page is absolutely disgusting. Fear over picking up and approaching women? I am one of those beautiful women. I get approached all the time, and I have to tell you I absolutely hate it. If I go jogging for half an hour, at least five men will stop during that time to ask directions, offer me a lift, or ask for my phone number. If I am going to eat, they will approach me and ask for my number. If I am enjoying a quiet meal, they will approach through any numerous channels and using any excuse imaginable to chat and get to know me better. If I am cool, they work up the confidence to get more aggressive to get the response they want. If I am warm and open, they think they got a hit and keep moving for mroe and more intimacy. Now I am feeling i can’t be open, smile, or even enjoy myself without some poor sod trying to try to pcik me up or dominate my time/space with the hope I may find him attractive.
Look. There are beautiful women everywhere. But we are not objects. The fact that we are attractive, does not mean we have a connection. I generally get to know men who are friends, whom I work with, socialize with, or otherwise know or am introduced to in a pressure free, effortless way. The connection either naturally happens or it doesn’t. To approach a stranger because you find them attractive is so intrusive and wrong — and yes,. men do it all the time, which is why most get shot down. Women get tired of it. We get men commenting on how attractive we are all the time. You may think you are just flattering us, but what the men are generally trying to convey is that they find us attractive enough to screw. It feels violating. Don’t think we don’t know when you are just approaching while salivating. and wanting more.
The fact is if you kept your hormones in check, you would not be asking thids question. You would just be living your life and interacting with women naturally and relationships would naturally form or they wouldn’t. You are not going to have much luck just meeting women by randomly approaching women you find attractive and hoping one will say yes. Chances are the women who allow thsi will have low self estreem. Qualify women do not want to engage with men who are trying to “pick them up.” What are you animals, just looking for a screw?
Do you have any idea how much men like you impose on women? Right now I cannot enjoy my life or be myself without being hounded by men whereever i go. I am not seductive acting or looking and I mind my own business but men descend upon me trying to pick me up and approach me.
There is no securet to what would work beyond not trying and not caring. If I met a nice, good, decent guy without an agenda beyond casually meeting people, I would be receptive. Who would want to open up to someone whose agenda is to hook up. What kind of a man seeks to hook up with strangers anyway? Come on, already?
Just meet people and allow relationships to form naturally. Why waste your time and energy being and acting like a dog in heat, and bothering and harassing women all the time, and building up yoru confidence…for what, exactly? Do you really think you can form any sort of meaningful relationship from the premise that you find us hot and want sex…?
If you’re that pathetic, find a prostitute or wait for women to make passes at you and then respond accordingly. Good women want men who are coming from an altogether differnt and better place.
There should be no fear if you have no agenda..and if you “allow” to happen.
I love the argument — of “bringing women down” so you no longer are afraid. You are afraid because you are thinking with your hormones. Some men combat this by tearing us down and degrading us to get us down to their level.
First, honor and establish a connection with God…and then allow him to bring a woman into your life…someone you will honor and cherish and with whom you will have the right connenction,….someone who would be both friend and companion…
November 19, 2008
Lila..
Thank you for your reply.
You see, this isn’t about going out and picking up women for random one night stands. Sure, some men will use the information for just that - but they would be out doing that regardless, and I can’t help that.
But what about the nice guys out there that are just ignored by beautiful women such as yourself. What if the man of your dreams didn’t know how to approach you because he is scared of your beauty. Sure, it isn’t natural to be scared by beauty, but in this day and age with the media and society imposing on us, it becomes instilled in men whether they like it or not.
There are literally thousands of men out there who want nothing more then a meaningful relationship but for them, it’s not so easy. Maybe they were from a broken home, or maybe they just lost their self confidence somewhere along the road. Why should they not have the chance to meet someone who is good for them? Why should they settle for less? Sometimes all it takes is a push in the right direction, an opening of the eyes and their true self is able to shine.
Would you rather be placed on a pedestal and have decent men just ignore you because they think you are too beautiful, or would you rather these men learn to be natural with you and share who they really are. Not all men are out there “looking for a screw”, or basing attraction on looks alone. Beauty is something that cannot be labeled with words alone, it can come from within and radiate outwards, or it can shine like a silver dollar, but inside be filled with tin. To judge someone as beautiful from a simple glance is crazy, but to pass someone off as not being beautiful with that same simple glance is just as crazy.
To truly find out if someone is beautiful or not, you must get to know them. And to get to know someone you must not be afraid of approaching them and being yourself. Unfortunately many men ARE afraid, for whatever reason. And women like you are missing out on these nice men..the one’s who do care about more then your looks, the ones who want to know you inside and out, and the ones who want to share themselves with you but just don’t know how.
On another note, not all women have the luxury (or problem) of being approached and having a wide selectino of men. Some women are left to feel unworthy simply because the men who find them attractive fear approaching them. So not only do men benefit from overcoming their anxiety about women, but some women benefit as well.
January 14, 2009
Girl’s like Lila is the reason I am scared to approach woman.
February 10, 2009
i dont agree with you woman. i am pretty sure that all the guys that you know were all strangers at some point and you can say that yall friends now because someone made a move. so dont say that its wrong that strangers approach you and you are probably the only tired of being approached cause i know that all the girls like and want to be approached by guys. it makes them feel good about themselves and that is why they always make sure they look when they go out.