Last updated: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 | 7968 Views
How do you know if a girl is flirting with you or just being friendly?
This is a common question among men. Many men aren’t sure if a women is actually flirting with them or not. They see signals but they either misinterpret them, or see mixed signals and get confused. Do you find yourself wondering if a women is attracted to you? If she’s flirting with you then there’s attraction - simple as that. But how do you know if she’s really flirting? Many a’ dates have been wasted by men who didn’t see or don’t understand the signals!
Look for clusters of 3 or more flirting signals..
Once you know which signals to look for, you’ll know right away whether a women is flirting with you and therefore attracted to you. The key is to look for “clusters” of signals - or more then one signal at once. If you see 3 or more signals of flirting and attraction then she’s probably into you. So now is your time to make your move…
The Hair Flick
When a women is attracted to a man she tends to flick her hair back to expose more skin. She may or may not know she is doing this, but it is definitely a sign of attraction. Keep in mind though that the hair flick alone is not enough to be sure.
Eye Contact
If a women maintains eye contact with you during conversation, this is also a form of flirting and a sign of attraction, especially if she’s smiling. If her pupils are dilated this is also a sign of attraction - one she has no control over.
Touching and Kino
Kino is a common dating and pick up term short for kinesthetic approach. It is the art of flirting through touching. While females may not actively study kino they are very good at it naturally. So if a female is touching you, take it as a sign of flirting and attraction. Some girls are touchy in general so it does help if you see how they act around others people.
She’s Being Fidgety
Some girls get uneasy around men they are attracted to. These type of girls usually start fidgeting, maybe with they start playing with their hair or with an object. They are either nervous (meaning they probably like you), fidgety by nature (you should be able to tell), or they are interested in you and are doing it sub-consciously.
Face is Flushed or She’s Flustered
Women who are shy tend to blush or get flushed when they are around men they like. Maybe she’ll look at you quick, start blushing and look away. Or maybe she’ll get flustered and skip a few beats while talking and start to flush up.
Open or Closed Body Language
A girls body language can either be “open” or “closed”. You can tell by looking at the subtle details. Is she facing you? Are her legs open, or crossed? Are her arms open, is she relaxed and inviting, or crunched up and closed off? Is she smiling, or is she scowling? Are her shoes dangling off her feet playfully, or are her feet firmly planted on the ground? Is she leaning away from you, or is she leaning towards you?
Take in all the fine details of her posture, body language and gestures to decide if she’s being “open” or “closed”. If she’s displaying open body language she’s probably comfortable around you. If her body is closed off then she may not be comfortable around you, or she could be not interested at all.
Showing Her Palms
Have you ever heard that the first step to controlling your dreams is seeing your hands? Lucid dreamers say that once you see your hands in your dreams, you are one step closer to having control over them. Seeing a womens palms on the other hand (pardon the pun), is also a sign of openness and attraction.
Grazing and Bumping
If you’ve ever been to a speed dating seminar then you’ve probably had this happen to you. Women will lightly graze you or bump into you, trying to display their interest. You probably walked on by not picking up on the signal or thinking it was just a mistake. If a women grazes or bumps up against you, she probably has feelings of attraction for you. If she does it often while on a date it’s almost a sure sign.
Licking the Lips
Girls who have an oral fixation will often lick their lips if they’re interested in you.
The Lean in and Whisper
If a girl leans in and whispers something in your ear, this is a sign she is not only comfortable around you, but probably attracted to you as well. She is letting you into her comfort zone.
Eye Twitch or Rapid Eye Movement
Many pick up artists swear that when a girl is ready to kiss you her eyes will dart back and forth uncontrollably. It’s like she doesn’t know where to look, so her eyes keep on moving. If a girls eyes are twitching or moving rapidly or randomly while you are making eye contact with her - this is an uncontrollable sign that she is interested in you.
She Tells You…
Men are stupid. Sometimes a girl almost straight out tells us when she wants us to make a move and we STILL DON’T GET IT!
I remember one date I went on.. It was going well, and in retrospect she was definitely into me. We went out for lunch and a walk and then headed to a mall to go to an animal exhibit they had featured there. We were walking through the mall for a while beforehand. Every couple minutes she’d bump into my hand with hers, or lean right into me, or touch me with her body. I was aware of it, but I didn’t see it as anything out of the ordinary. Then one time after grazing my hand, she says “I keep on running into your hand..”.
“Uh Huh. I see that…”.
I keep on walking, my hands free from hers by my side. Now, I don’t see holding hands as being absolutely necessary on a date, but some girls do. A couple minutes later she bumps into my hand again. This time the contact lasts a little longer and again she says “I keep on wanting to hold your hand or something…”.
Now at this point I should of gotten the point and held her damn hand. It would of put me in the “initial contact” zone and things could of progressed from there. Instead, being an idiot at the time I kept on walking, keeping my hands to myself. The physical contact never did escelate that night and I dropped her off with not even a hug as we parted ways.
Sure, the initial attraction was there and so was the chemistry as some might call it. But nonetheless I didn’t rely on the signals and I didn’t take action. I wasn’t confident in my ability to read her flirting signals and the whole date suffered because of it.
Some women flirt differently..
There are women who don’t follow conventional rules of flirting. They may have their own unique ways of showing interest. They might include sarcasm, play hitting, pinching, biting, or even being rude because they feel insecure. Make sure you pay attention to ALL the signals and use your best judgement based on what you now know. Every women may flirt a little differently, but they all do it.
I believe that more then one opinion on a subject is almost always a good thing. So if you want someone else’s opinion on flirting, check out the Art of Approaching by Joseph Mathews - you can sign up for the newsletter for free. I know you like free stuff - I sure do.
ELOCHUKS
October 14, 2008
Thanks for the tips..I knew some of these but a few of them I would of never guessed. I’ve been dating a lot lately so I’m going to try and remember these for next time!
October 15, 2008
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